18 Best humorous quotes about work
Just about everything in this world is easier said than done, with the exception of "systematically assisting Sisyphus's stealthy, cyst-susceptible sister," which is easier done than said.
My point is, life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The pina and the colada.
If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn't have declared their independence from it.
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?.
The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.
I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.
Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.
No adolescent ever wants to be understood, which is why they complain about being misunderstood all the time.
Be sure to lie to your kids about the benevolent, all-seeing Santa Claus. It will prepare them for an adulthood of believing in God.
She'd absolutely adored the library_an entire building where anyone could take things they didn't own and feel no remorse about it.
Men are all the same, they think that because they came out of the belly of a woman they know all there is to know about women.
Where I come from, we're more about efficiency,' he replies. 'A knife like this'll skewer food, smear butter, and slit throats all at the same time.
There's nothing more contagious than the laughter of young children; it doesn't even have to matter what they're laughing about.
I've been embarrassing myself since about birth.
I don't know about your true form, but the weight of your ego sure is pushing the crust of the earth toward the breaking point.
I never understood how men could remember all those details about sports but, yet, were incapable of remembering where they set their car keys or wallet.
I have nightmares about hell, where all I do is add up numbers and try to have conversations with people like you.
It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I'd never even thought about killing myself.
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