16 Best humorous quotes about life

1. Life sucks, then you die. Then it sucks again..

2. ...Life is much simpler if you don’t notice anything....

3. Rule of life. If you bother to ask someone’s advice, then bother to listen to it.

4. The problem with a life spent reading is you know too much.

5. Real life is sometimes boring, rarely conclusive and boy, does the dialogue need work.

6. It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.

7. Neither were you [born yesterday], unless of course I am wrong, in which case welcome to the world, little baby, and congratulations on learning to read so early in life..

8. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, and then throw it in the face of the person who gave you the lemons until they give you the oranges you originally asked for.

9. Helloooo? I just made some changes in my life, and if I don't get back to you as soon as possible, then guess what? You were one of those changes.

10. My formula for life is very simple: in the morning, wake up; at night, go to sleep. In between I try and occupy myself as best I can.

11. I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity..

12. Oh! it is absurd to have a hard-and-fast rule about what one should read and what one shouldn't. More than half of modern culture depends on what one shouldn't read.

13. When I was little I bragged about my firefighting father: my father would go to heaven, because if he went to hell he would put out all the fires.

14. Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.

15. She fitted into my biggest arm-chair as if it had been built round her by someone who knew they were wearing arm-chairs tight about the hips that season.

16. Why would you throw a ball in someone's face?...Huh. That's a pretty good reason. Well, I can't do much about your teacher being pissed, but me and you are good.

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