21 Best humorous quotes about aging
I was raised right — I talk about people behind their backs. It's called manners.
Funny thing about glass. When you broke the shit up, it got pissed and bit back.
I'm about as intimidating as a butterfly.
There are any number of magical creatures, mostly female, whose singing can bring about horror and death. Sirens, undines, banshees, Bananarama tribute bands...
No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.
Harry," Bob drawled, his eye lights flickering smugly, "what you know about women, I could juggle.
That's ridiculous." Especially the part about Christian being manly.
I hate women who complain about being fat when they're like a size 5. Anything under size 5 isn't a woman. It's a boy with breasts.
Now stand in the corner, and think about what you've done!.
CUSTOMER: Do you have this children's book I've heard about? It's supposed to be very good. It's called "Lionel Richie and the Wardrobe.
There are things that are so serious that you can only joke about them.
Oh that looked painful," called another Puck, a little farther down. "We really need to talk about your anger-management problems.
He had about the same life expectancy as a three legged hedgehog on a six lane motorway.
At a certain age almost all the questions a person asks him or herself are really just about one thing: how should you live your life?.
Something bad was about to happen. My wife was being clever again.
Clary made fun of him about his new look; but, then, Clary found everything about Simon's love life borderline hilarious.
If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons..
General fiction is pretty much about ways that people get into problems and screw their lives up. Science fiction is about everything else.
You look about as trapped as a piglet at a baby back ribs cookoff.
It is perfectly monstrous,' he said, at last, 'the way people go about nowadays saying things against one behind one's back that are absolutely and entirely true.
Popularity's a weird thing. You can't really define it, and it's not cool to talk about, but you know it when you see it. Like a lazy eye, or porn.
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