33 Best humor quotes about life

1. Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.

2. Be careful about reading health books. Some fine day you'll die of a misprint.

3. Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.

4. There are two motives for reading a book; one, that you enjoy it; the other, that you can boast about it.

5. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.

6. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope.

7. There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.

8. I’d said it before and meant it: Alive or undead, the love of my life was a badass.

9. Holey? You have the the whole world of ear-related humor before you, you go for holey?.

10. It is a great thing to start life with a small number of really good books which are your very own.

11. There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.

12. I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.

13. I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.

14. It's hard to enjoy practical jokes when your whole life feels like one.

15. Why are you worrying about YOU-KNOW-WHO, when you should be worrying about YOU-NO-POO? The constipation sensation that's gripping the nation!.

16. Humor is reason gone mad.

17. All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure..

18. Humor is almost always anger with its make-up on.

19. Life sucks, and then you die...

20. I really can't think about kissing when I've got a rebellion to incite..

21. If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them.

22. Well, that's your opinion, isn't it? And I'm not about to waste my time trying to change it.

23. Life seems but a quick succession of busy nothings.

24. I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.

25. HUMAN BEINGS MAKE LIFE SO INTERESTING. DO YOU KNOW, THAT IN A UNIVERSE SO FULL OF WONDERS, THEY HAVE MANAGED TO INVENT BOREDOM. (Death).

26. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra..

27. When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

28. If you're horrible to me, I'm going to write a song about it, and you won't like it. That's how I operate.

29. Sometimes, just saying that you hate something, and having someone agree with you, can make you feel better about a terrible situation.

30. Humor keeps us alive. Humor and food. Don't forget food. You can go a week without laughing.

31. There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.

32. He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which.

33. He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.

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